


I don't understand.

by fictionalabyss



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Murder House
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Mass shooting, school shooting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2019-03-31 20:46:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13983021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalabyss/pseuds/fictionalabyss
Summary: You had a crush on Tate for years, and can't quite grasp what he's done.Or that you survived it.





	I don't understand.

You hear the sound of glass breaking and looked up. “HEY!” The kids laughed, and one picked up another rock, throwing it at a stain glass window. “ **HEY**!” You yelled again, louder and angrier as you ran closer to them.

They took off running and laughing, a chorus of “Psycho Lover!” ringing out behind them. You stood there by the gate of the house he had lived in. That’s who you were now. The psycho lover. Sighing, you remembered the last time you saw him. The boy you had had a crush on for years. Tate Langdon. You still couldn’t believe the quiet boy you had partnered with in Science had done it.

* * *

_Closing your locker, you glanced across the hall to his locker. Furrowing your brow you glanced around wondering where he was. You were too shy to really talk to him, or even tell him how you felt about him. You had been harboring the crush for years, but you felt you weren’t good enough for him. You would pair with him for science labs when you could, trying to build up the courage to at least talk to him, but you never really did. And you had a lab later that day._

_“Earth to Y/N?”_

_“Huh?” You glanced back at your friend._

_“Jesus Christ, just talk to him!”_

_“I don’t think he’s in today..” You glanced back towards his locker._

_“Like that would change anything. You’ve been not talking to him every day he is in for the last 5 years. I had hoped high school would change that.”_

_“Shut up.” You shut your locker, glaring at your best friend._

_“What do you have right now? I’m about to be late for English.”_

_“Free period. I have a project due, so I’ll be in the library. Now go, before you get suspended again.” You teased._

* * *

_You were standing, leaning on a shelf with your nose in a book when the first shots rang out. You looked up, confused and walked to the end of the row and looked at the other people in the library._

_As more shots rang out, they started to look scared too, but no one really moved. Not until a boy, Kevin, from your English class ran in the door and started to barricade it. “Someone is shooting up the school..” He told everyone as he moved furniture to block the door. “He’s just shooting people.”_

_Your face paled as someone asked if he was hit. He looked down at the blood on his hands, shaking and stuttering as he spoke. “Shit, I don- I don’t know, man. It’s not my blood. I was right next to Mark Finstein and the guy shot him in the freaking skull.”_

_“Who’s doing this!?”_

_“I d- I don’t know.”_

_“We need to get the hell out of here!”_

_Everyone froze as the shots rang closer. “ **Go**! **Go**!” Mr Carmichael yelled, and everyone scurried to hide, you ducked back behind the bookcase, as far into the corner as you could get, hoping beyond hope if whoever it was came in you’d go unnoticed._

_As the doorknob rattled, you held your breath. You heard something fall, flinching slightly, then listened as the footsteps moved away. A girl you knew but barely talked to came out of her hiding spot. You shook your head at her, pleading with your eyes for her to hide again. The foot steps approaching the other door._

_“Lock the door!” Kyle told her, as loud as he dared. She just stood there, looking at him terrified. “Get- Get the door!”_

_As the door began to open, Mr Carmichael ran to it, holding it closed, gripping the handle and doing everything he could to keep the gunman from entering. For a moment, it was silent. Everyone once again holding their breath in hopes he would leave._

_And then the shot, and Mr Carmichael yelled, dropping back from the door having been shot. Three bullet holes in the door._

_The girl by the door, screamed and ran across the room towards you. You opened your arms and grabbed hold of her as soon as she was close, pulling her behind the bookcase with you._

_The door opened, and the gunman walked in. You heard his boots hitting the floor as he moved around the aisles of bookcases. The two of you scurried to another aisle, hoping to avoid him. He whistled as he moved at a slow pace, like he had all the time, and not a care in the world. You were terrified._

_You were both leaning your back against the bookcase when some books fell, and she screamed, dropping to the ground._

_Then he came into view. “Tate?” You breathed out. It couldn’t be. He hesitated for an instant when he met your eyes. And then he raised the gun. You squeezed your eyes shut, waiting, praying, though to who, you didn’t know. A shot rang out, loud, close, and then he walked away._

_You cracked your eyes open, and realized he hadn’t shot you. Glancing down you saw her crumpled on the floor. “Steph..” You finally remembered her name. Her name was Stephanie._

_“No! No! P-Please, no!” You heard Kevin begging before the next shot rang out, making you flinch._

_You dropped to the ground next to her body as he continued to move around the library. You reached out pulling her close, hoping for an instant that she wasn’t dead. But there was no way she’d have survived that shot to the head. That could have been you. You stared down at her, shaking and afraid. Why hadn’t he shot you?_

_You couldn’t hear Kyle over the ringing in your ears. Nor could you hear someone grab the phone and begin to call for help. But the shot that rang out soon after, again made you flinch, and a tear run down your face. You wanted to get up, to ask him why, ask him to stop. Beg him to stop._

_“Hey!” You looked up, you could see them. Kyle confronting Tate.  He spoke again as Tate raised the shotgun. “It’s enough, get out of here.” He was barely done speaking when Tate pulled the trigger, and Kyle fell back onto the table._

_“Oh, oh god!” You heard a whimper from over by the tables. You closed your eyes, crying, wishing you were braver, stronger, anything that could stop this. Could stop him. A table and chairs clattered, then “Why?! **Why**!?” Before the next shot._

_You don’t know how long you sat there, flinching with every shot, or even when the shots stopped. You couldn’t bring yourself to move, you were more afraid of the silence than you had been of the gunshots._

_Then someone rounded the corner. “Miss? Miss are you okay, are you hurt?” You looked up at the man in full gear, shotgun in his hand, then down at your hands, covered in Stephanie’s blood. You let out a small sob as you shook. “She’s in shock, get her outside!”_

_Another man in gear swooped in, and grabbed hold of you. “It’s going to be okay.” He reassured you. But how could it? How could it ever be okay again._

* * *

_You were outside by an ambulance as you got looked over, a blanket around you because you couldn’t stop shivering and shaking. “Miss? I know this is hard, but I need to ask you some questions.”_

_You looked away from the officer as you saw someone being brought out on a stretcher. Your best friend. You watched them run past, she looked almost dead already, having been shot in the stomach._

_“Miss?” You looked back at him. “Can you at least answer one? Do you know who did this?”_

_“Tate.” You answered softly. “Tate Langdon. I-I don’t understand-”_

_“It’s okay.” He put a hand to your shoulder. “They’re going to bring you to the hospital now, okay?”_

* * *

_You were laying in a hospital bed. They insisted on keeping you due to the shock, and the survivors guilt. They were worried about your safety. Even though your parents insisted you wouldn’t harm yourself, you still hadn’t said a word to anyone other than that one officer. Your mother stayed at your side._

_Every channel on the small hospital room tv was covering the story of the school shooting. Your mother went to turn it off, but when you saw a picture of Tate’s home, you grabbed her wrist. You cried again, hearing he was dead. Even with what he did, you had hoped he could be saved._

_“Oh dear..” Your mother said softly, glancing at you. She knew how much you had liked him, and he had always been such a sweet boy as far as she knew. She figured that had been why you were saved. Maybe he had liked you too._

* * *

You pulled yourself from the bad memories with a sigh. Psycho Lover. All because of a crush, and a refusal to let kids wreck the beautiful house. It was only a matter of time before new people moved in, and they didn’t deserve this. Even if they did buy the Murder House.

The psycho lover protecting the murder house. It was enough to make you chuckle.

Sighing again, you turned to leave, and were about to when you heard a sound. Glancing at the house, you saw the front door now open. Confused, you scanned the windows. Had someone already moved in?

Then, in a downstairs window, you saw him. You let out a shaky breath as he smiled at you. The fear from that day taking over again. It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be.

Without fully realizing, your feet were moving. You stepped past the front gate and moved up the walkway, your eyes glued to him as long as you could, and then they flicked to the front door. You stepped inside and there he was, standing, waiting, as beautiful as he had always been.

“Tate…”

He smiled at you again, you were so focused on him, on that smile, that you didn’t hear the door shutting behind you.

* * *


End file.
